nailed to his perch

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“I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.”

Bo, the stuffed rainbow coloured monster is looking into a metal cage where there is a wooden parrot on a perch.

“He’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed him to the perch he’d be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! This is an ex-parrot!”

With thanks to Monty Python!

alternative facts

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It’s there in black and white.
monster:  n 1. an imaginary creature, usually large and frightening, compounded of incongruous elements. 2. a misshapen animal or plant. 3. an inhumanly cruel or wicked person. 4. an animal or thing of huge size. – adj. huge.

the top of Edgar's head and his horns as he is reading the dictionary, open to the page with the definition of monster, as well as a lot of other words that start with mo

It’s enough to make a cute little monster like me doubt its identity.